Sunday, October 26, 2008

A Job Ain’t Nothing but Work!

Job interviews…some people are good at them, some people suck at them. Regardless, they are a necessary step in the process of getting a job.

Basically how it works if you’re being interviewed is they ask you a question, you answer it, then wait for them to ask you another question. You repeat this process several times. If you’re lucky you’ll be able to ask a question at some point. But by the time you reach this point you’re usually tired of talking and wish someone would pull the fire alarm so you can run frantically out of the room and end this monotonous torture. What if you had to do this multiple times a day…wouldn’t that suck?

There is another interaction that follows the similar path of a job interview.

Conversations with women.

Most conversations men have with women follow the model of a job interview. She asks you a bunch of questions and you answer the questions to her approval. Because if you don’t meet her approval, that will only lead to further questioning. There are a few times in life where one just sits there and incessantly answers questions. These places are job interviews, tests, and legal proceedings (usually of the criminal nature). Meeting women is supposed to take us out of that frame of mind.
“Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.” – Michael Corleone

Since I have not committed a crime, am not proving my proficiency, nor am I interviewing for a job, I shouldn’t be treated like I am. Men, being the logical, simple-minded, (read: smarter than women) creatures that we are, find many fundamental flaws in this behavior.

First of all, when we hang out with our friends, we don’t talk to each other like that. I have never asked one of my boys “how was your day?” The path of our convos is more like this:
· Guy 1 comments about subject A
· Guy 2 adds another comment about subject A
· Repeat steps 1 and 2 until subject B comes up.
· Maybe, just maybe, once in a while someone will ask a question, but that’s only to clarify a previous comment or sucker someone into getting commented on. That’s. It.

Second of all this tactic doesn’t work the other way around, if a guy asks a woman too many questions he crosses from “I think he’s into me” into the “girl this dude asks me too many damn questions, is he a stalker?” zone. Also, most girls love guys that can make them laugh. Well, we can’t make you laugh if we’re answering your got dayum questions all day!”

"You can't be asking me no questions...who the f*ck is you?" - Madd Rapper
However children, there is good news. This phenomenon can be fixed. It’s a simple fix. Stop asking so many questions.

Sometimes you don’t need to know EVERY SINGLE DETAIL POSSIBLE. Just think of the simple things in life you enjoy but don’t know every thing about, like your TV for example. You don’t need to know the science behind High Definition, or Plasmas versus LCDs, you just need to know how to turn it on, change the channel, and switch to auxiliary mode so you can play PS3 or watch a DVD. That’s. It.

My new rule, if a woman asks me too many questions in the first 3 minutes of the conversation, I’m ending it. And yes “too many questions” is completely up to my discretion and will change from day to day, minute to minute. Also, the end of the conversation can come in many forms, i.e. me making up something I have to do, or simply banging on you only to text you later that my phone lost its signal.

I know I know…I could simply tell the truth and be a man about it, but there’s no fun in that.

“I do things for the story, not the principle.” - Mikey Flynn
Besides, we all have done it at some point in our life…and we all know that Honesty is Overrated…more on that in the next blog…

P.S. Big Up to GOODENess for slapping the Big Joker on the table.

P.P.S. Another thing that annoys me (read: men all over the Earth in all cultures, races, and creeds) is when a woman has ONE question she wants the answer to but instead of just asking that ONE question, she asks a million questions around that ONE question and rarely every asks the ONE question she needed the answer to.

Free OJ!

6 comments:

GOODENess said...

whatchu sayin CORN? I ask too many "kwerstchuns"? would u rather I just shuddufuggup? is that what u really think? don't u think I'm clever? does this dress make my butt look big? why is the sky blue? do u smell that? do u like my hair? boxers or briefs?

lm(red)ao! i couldn't help it, i'm ignit! but i can relate to this entire joint...I am unemployed, so I'm interviewing...I'm single, so I'm interviewing...lol...

thing is, the play by play of how testosterone driven exchanges flow is EXACTLY how women exchange with each other when men aren't around...and that is pretty much how I interact w/ everyone, with the exception of my "3 random asks" whenever a chat convo dwindles...lol...I don't mind asking questions to spark a conversation and I actually enjoy being asked questions becasuse I do think that a few questions express genuine interest, but there is definitely balance to be had...

get this...my conversations don't go like interviews...they flow like cocoa soul...they are entertaining exchange of thoughts, concepts, ideas, opinions, and anecdotes that engage and amuse muhfugguhs world wide...sans the Spanish inquisition, por que hablando dos idiomas...lol... i.am.good.

love the new bars at the top, btw...bout damn time u blogged again...me thunk u dead for lack of postage, lol...good shit!

right on to the real, death to the fakers!

Monk said...

*dap, dap, salute*

The truth has been spoken by Bro. Westside.

Questions are okay, Excessive Questioning that funks up the vibe is NOT!! Period...End Of Story.

'Preciate the Madd Rapper quote also, I think everyone has one in them.

The Pretty Brown Girl said...

The Mad Rapper quote was on point. Lovin' it.

I don't mind questions too much. I just think of it as an exchange in ideas and opinions n' sh*t. Homie just needs to stay in his lane w/all that. As for my questions, I ask what I think I need to know, according to the situation.

Mikey Flynn said...

When I answer a question with "thats to many questions" it usually goes over well lol - or it doesn't but I don't really care either way.

I actually think their are dudes who like women who ask a lot of questions because they aren't creative enough to get their (selling) points out to the female without being asked questions (because we are all selling ourselves to the female, and hope she buys lol). We all give women answers to their questions all the time, the key is knowing when your doing it! It works a lot better if you can do it and not let her notice your doing it (while making her laugh ect ect)

Miss Mahogany said...

Dead @ simply banging on you only to text you later that my phone lost its signal.

I do that anyway regardless is who on the other end. LOL

As for the PPS thing that's because the one question is usually something so big ya'll would damn freeze up at answering if we straight out ask.

CTFU!

I'm digging your view on things brotha. Just passing through as usual.

Melisa Marzett said...

it's a very hard task to pass the interview while looking for a job! resume-writer.net has some sexist job interview myth and reality!